This is amazing. I'm Pakistani and so much of what you said also happens in Pakistan aswell. Society does not let us talk about our experiences, doesn't let us point at our abusers and say "that man touched me without my consent. He raped me. He did it multiple times. He does it to multiple girls". So many time we're forced to sit between these men and eat dinner. Fucking shove food down our throat and try to forget what their face was like when it was happening. If not that, we're just killed and discarded like a tissue paper. Used and forgotten. This case in particular is so disgusting. It makes me want to ask those people, who see a rape case on headlines and say "she was out too late" "she probably provoked him" "this is what happens when you have boyfriends" "uska kirdar hi aisa tha". Because what could a doctor, after a 36 hour shift, wear or do to seduce God knows how many men? Was she out late because of her kirdar or because she was helping people live? They raped and murdered her in the place where people heal others. They left her there, bones broken and naked. It's disgusting. They're all disgusting. And it's so scary because you're right, rapists aren't some rare species who you could maybe bump into. They are everywhere. They could be the cashier you tipped or your landlord. It could be anyone. Anywhere. So why should women be shamed for being cautious? For keeping their distance? For being scared? If every woman has to bear the weight of fear, why can't every man bear the weight of suspicion? For us, it's all men when we're out in the mall. And yet baatein bhi hum sune. Chup bhi hum rehein. Burqa bhi hum kerein. Rape bhi humara ho. Lekin takleef unn aadmion ko jo her rape case ke comment section mein "not all men" ke naarein legate hein. Wah. How unfair. Thank you for writing about this and I'm sorry for the long comment. Just like you, I'm always angry. Always. I hope the world can come to its senses soon. I hope no girl has to ever go through something like this. And for now I can only hope.
**Everyone** should read this post. You did such a fantastic job in spreading even more information on the terror of what women and girls are going through every single day. I could feel the fire burning inside me as I read it, the urge to just yell at every monster in the world to make them go away, but sadly, that's not how the world works. Your poems gave me chills. The fury and fear and determination and desperation; I can feel it imprinted in those words. "We were women once, but now we are dead things still walking." Thank you for writing this ^^
Fantastic read, and I’m glad you talked about the idea of a preferred victim. One who is studious, middle class and professional - someone we could emphasise with but not a young girl going out. It reminds me of the saying that a perfect victim is a dead victim. Trying to swallow disdain when you hear the men in your family comment on someone’s body saying they deserve to be assaulted, but you happen to be different because you belong to them
your writing should be mandatory reading in schools and published in every newspaper. it's not enough – the censored and all-pleasing way in which violence against women (read: too often rape and abuse) is talked about, as if it's a backseat issue. as if it's just a part of all of our lives we can't change. as if the perpetrators still deserve to be treated as human. but yes, I couldn't agree more with the point you've brought up here that they ARE human, and that distinction is important. it's more than important to realise that these are real men and could be your own brothers.
I'll add another point, though: yes it's definitely true that some rapists don't understand the concept of consent at all, but I think some do. they do understand that the woman doesn't want it, and that's why they do it. I've seen some interviews with rapists in which they do get it. that's the appeal to them, the power, the knowing she can't do anything and you are an all powerful god in that moment, taking her life from her (either metaphorically or literally)
anyway, this was a heart breaking but very needed read, and a really well put-together piece!!
this post made me feel hollow inside - the first painting was earth shattering. the implications of how it was possibly critiqued and then made more docile, less accusatory... what a necessary, honest and heartfelt read 💔
this needs to be read and seen by so many more people. this is such an important yet harrowing read. this reminds me of a book I’m reading now called “men who hate women” by laura bates. the thought that men who do these things are “beasts” and “monsters” or “otherworldly” is not true and you hit it right on the head by saying these men are fathers, brothers, sons and a part of our society, no matter how frightening that sounds. amazing piece.
This is amazing. I'm Pakistani and so much of what you said also happens in Pakistan aswell. Society does not let us talk about our experiences, doesn't let us point at our abusers and say "that man touched me without my consent. He raped me. He did it multiple times. He does it to multiple girls". So many time we're forced to sit between these men and eat dinner. Fucking shove food down our throat and try to forget what their face was like when it was happening. If not that, we're just killed and discarded like a tissue paper. Used and forgotten. This case in particular is so disgusting. It makes me want to ask those people, who see a rape case on headlines and say "she was out too late" "she probably provoked him" "this is what happens when you have boyfriends" "uska kirdar hi aisa tha". Because what could a doctor, after a 36 hour shift, wear or do to seduce God knows how many men? Was she out late because of her kirdar or because she was helping people live? They raped and murdered her in the place where people heal others. They left her there, bones broken and naked. It's disgusting. They're all disgusting. And it's so scary because you're right, rapists aren't some rare species who you could maybe bump into. They are everywhere. They could be the cashier you tipped or your landlord. It could be anyone. Anywhere. So why should women be shamed for being cautious? For keeping their distance? For being scared? If every woman has to bear the weight of fear, why can't every man bear the weight of suspicion? For us, it's all men when we're out in the mall. And yet baatein bhi hum sune. Chup bhi hum rehein. Burqa bhi hum kerein. Rape bhi humara ho. Lekin takleef unn aadmion ko jo her rape case ke comment section mein "not all men" ke naarein legate hein. Wah. How unfair. Thank you for writing about this and I'm sorry for the long comment. Just like you, I'm always angry. Always. I hope the world can come to its senses soon. I hope no girl has to ever go through something like this. And for now I can only hope.
Mahi… thank you for your comment.
**Everyone** should read this post. You did such a fantastic job in spreading even more information on the terror of what women and girls are going through every single day. I could feel the fire burning inside me as I read it, the urge to just yell at every monster in the world to make them go away, but sadly, that's not how the world works. Your poems gave me chills. The fury and fear and determination and desperation; I can feel it imprinted in those words. "We were women once, but now we are dead things still walking." Thank you for writing this ^^
It's like the hatred of the world for degenerate men were narrated furiously in this article. Extremely well written. I'm proud of you 👏🏼
Thank you :D
Very nicely narrated, bringing this big issue on paper will really helps society in large to understand the mindset. Keep it up.
Fantastic read, and I’m glad you talked about the idea of a preferred victim. One who is studious, middle class and professional - someone we could emphasise with but not a young girl going out. It reminds me of the saying that a perfect victim is a dead victim. Trying to swallow disdain when you hear the men in your family comment on someone’s body saying they deserve to be assaulted, but you happen to be different because you belong to them
wow your poems feel so palpable, like i can feel your words in my gut. so moving and so heart wrenching. thank you for writing.
your writing should be mandatory reading in schools and published in every newspaper. it's not enough – the censored and all-pleasing way in which violence against women (read: too often rape and abuse) is talked about, as if it's a backseat issue. as if it's just a part of all of our lives we can't change. as if the perpetrators still deserve to be treated as human. but yes, I couldn't agree more with the point you've brought up here that they ARE human, and that distinction is important. it's more than important to realise that these are real men and could be your own brothers.
I'll add another point, though: yes it's definitely true that some rapists don't understand the concept of consent at all, but I think some do. they do understand that the woman doesn't want it, and that's why they do it. I've seen some interviews with rapists in which they do get it. that's the appeal to them, the power, the knowing she can't do anything and you are an all powerful god in that moment, taking her life from her (either metaphorically or literally)
anyway, this was a heart breaking but very needed read, and a really well put-together piece!!
Thank you!
I agree with you 100%. Rape is not about sex -- it's about power assertion.
It twists my gut just thinking about it.
right, arguments like "it's just natural biology" are not only wrong scientifically, but rapists themselves also know it is not even about sex
This is incredible
Thank you! :D
Such a striking and informative read!!✨
👏 Very Good Aastha! Keep it up.
This is a very special one with deep thoughts and points on a major societal problem that we have. Proud of u. Keep it up.
this post made me feel hollow inside - the first painting was earth shattering. the implications of how it was possibly critiqued and then made more docile, less accusatory... what a necessary, honest and heartfelt read 💔
this needs to be read and seen by so many more people. this is such an important yet harrowing read. this reminds me of a book I’m reading now called “men who hate women” by laura bates. the thought that men who do these things are “beasts” and “monsters” or “otherworldly” is not true and you hit it right on the head by saying these men are fathers, brothers, sons and a part of our society, no matter how frightening that sounds. amazing piece.
this was amazing and truly horrifying, your way with words is like no other and your poems, oh my. i felt this in my gut.